Friday, November 30, 2012

When Does Sudden Loss of Memory Occur?

Memory loss can appear either gradually or unexpectedly. Sudden loss of memory can be caused by many factors. First of all, sudden loss of memory may be induced by a head injury. In order to avoid such situations, it is imperative to learn some safety measures. By wearing the seat belt while driving or a helmet while riding a motorcycle, people can prevent damage from being inflicted on the brain.

In some cases, sudden loss of memory appears as a side effect of statin drugs. People who suffer from hypercholesterolemia usually follow a treatment based on statin drugs. Scientists have observed that retrograde memory loss may also be associated to this type of medication.

Instead of following a treatment based on statins, people who have high cholesterol levels are recommended to follow a diet which may help even more their condition. In addition, the diets do not have side effects, if they are followed strictly.

When Does Sudden Loss of Memory Occur?

Other factors that appear without a warning and cause sudden loss of memory are strokes. These are usually determined by a very high blood pressure. Tobacco represents one of the substances that increase the risk of stroke, as it diminishes the blood flow to the brain while increasing the overall blood pressure. Smoking tobacco and all the other products based on tobacco have the same dangerous effect. In addition, tobacco causes many other diseases. Vascular dementia represents alterations of the blood vessels.

In the end, this certain disease leads to stroke and to sudden memory loss. The latter condition does not occur in all the cases. Although vascular dementia develops gradually, the memory loss occurs unexpectedly.

Some brain infections may determine sudden loss of memory, too. Meningitis represents the inflammation of the membrane that surrounds the brain. Furthermore, chronic illnesses or health problems that are recurrent can also determine sudden loss of memory. Epilepsy is, as well, a health condition that may precede sudden loss of memory.

Depending on the underlying cause of memory loss and on the treatment used for that certain cause, the memory loss can be either temporary or permanent. This fact is conditioned by many things, so one cannot determine precisely if the memory will be effective again or not. However, people who experience sudden loss of memory can be helped. First of all, these people must memorize less information, so simplifying the environment in which they live can prove to be an effective measure.

When Does Sudden Loss of Memory Occur?
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Monday, November 26, 2012

Funeral Thank You Cards - Help in Time of Grief

After the funeral is over, it is usual etiquette to send funeral thank you cards to everyone who participated in the funeral event of your loved one, and who assisted you in your time of grieving by offering flowers, financial gifts, and more. Although writing thank you cards might be an annoying job during such an upsetting time, you'll need to force yourself.

By the time people realize that writing funeral thank you verses or notes is not as easy as it seems to be, more than likely, you'll find yourself drowned in tears when you begin this difficult task. However, you'll need to look deep within yourself in order to take on the responsibility of composing thank you cards that express your gratitude to those who have had you in their thoughts, and as a result, you'll convey your appreciation to all the loving people who helped you during your time of loss.

Funeral thank you cards are well considered to serve as a balm during one's grief. The cards or notes might assist you to cope with your grief and depression, and help you to stay focused on the task at hand. It will offer a time of remembering the warm memories of the person who is no longer with you in physical embodiment. Instead of recalling the regrettable moment of death, you'll re-live the loving moments spent with your loved one who has passed away.

Funeral Thank You Cards - Help in Time of Grief

Below, are listed a couple of sample thank you verses. You can copy and paste any of them to your funeral thank you notes if you're finding it hard to develop the sentiments on your own.

We sincerely appreciate your sympathy and thoughtfulness in our time of grief where there's no way out of our sorrow and tears. Although the words 'Thank you' are merely a small gesture of appreciation, I'd like to thank you for keeping us in your thoughts and prayers. We cannot imagine how difficult it would have been to pass this time of sorrow without your support and help. Instead of thanking you, I'd like to thank God for offering me a caring and helpful friend such as you.

When times are difficult and you just cannot find the words to express your gratitude, there's always help by searching the internet for words to help in composing your funeral thank you cards.

Funeral Thank You Cards - Help in Time of Grief
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At a loss for words in time of grief? Feel free to copy the Funeral Thank You Notes and free thank you note samples found at the Thank You Note Wording website.

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Thursday, November 22, 2012

Condolence Messages - Samples of What to Say and What Not to Say in Condolence Messages

Condolence messages sent with sincerity are not meant to hurt or remind the bereaved of sad times, but sometimes, a well-intentioned condolence message does just that. When writing a condolence message, it's hard to know what to say and what not to say. How can you truly know what someone is going through at this sad time? How can you truly know what to say that will comfort them?

A Personal Story of a Hurtful Condolence Message
My young cousin sat on the age of her bed sobbing her eyes out. Our grandfather had just died and we were all going through a mixture of raw emotions. We had already shed a river of tears over the preceding couple of days, but this time the crying was different. These tears weren't fuelled by sadness; rather they came from anger and disbelief. "How could they say that?" she cried.

The saddest part of watching this beautiful young girl sobbing uncontrollably was, knowing the reason she was so upset. She had been relatively fine considering the circumstances, slowly coming to terms with our loss. Until she had read the letter she still held in her hands. A condolence message sent from a friend. "How could they?" she said, looking at me with her red, confounded eyes.

Condolence Messages - Samples of What to Say and What Not to Say in Condolence Messages

Unintentionally Upsetting the Bereaved
The friend who had sent the letter had no intention of upsetting my young cousin. In fact, they thought they were being sympathetic and somewhat helpful. They had unintentionally mentioned a previous disagreement my cousin had had with my grandfather. A disagreement that, at this time, she was feeling exceptionally guilty about. The friend's intention was to alleviate her guilt, but she had only compounded it. Best if it had been left unsaid.

It's so difficult to determine what any individual may be going through during the grieving process. Grief is so unique, and different people will handle it in different ways. Someone whom you thought would be a pillar of strength may be reduced to being completely helpless, and vice versa. The emotions can be so volatile at this time that what is said and not said must be carefully considered.

Put Yourself in the Bereaved Person's Position
Though it may be hard to imagine and a bit distasteful, try to put yourself in the grieving person's position. Would you want to be reminded of how your loved one died? I think we both know the answer to that question. But, it has been done, and only because of the awkwardness of the situation. People often stumble over what to say in a condolence letter simply from having no familiarity with it. Everyone experiences death at some point in their life, and the first time is no doubt the most difficult.

Some Basic Things to Avoid in a Condolence Message:

• Raising issues you or the bereaved may have had with the deceased
• Comparing their loss with some problem you may be having or difficulty you may be going through
• Offering advice on how to handle their grief. Especially if you have no experience.
• Minimize their loss through the use of cliches such as, "time heals" or "you'll get over it".
• Never, ever raise the issue of money owed - by or to either party.
• Don't apologize or make excuses for not being as good a friend or relative or neighbour as you could have. Reserve this for a more appropriate time in the future.

Keep It Simple and Sensitive
A basic rule of what to say when writing a condolence message is the KISS principle. Keep It Simple and Sensitive. Do say that you're sorry for their loss, and do say something positive about the deceased. Mention their strengths of character, good deeds or work they may have done. Share a fond or funny memory of the person that you recall. These sorts of things can be very comforting to those who are grieving, and help to alleviate the pain of their loss.

It is also appropriate to offer support at this time, whether it be emotional, or providing some help with cooking, transport or children if they are involved. Never offer financial assistance at this time! On signing off, simply express your heartfelt condolences. Phrases such as "With Deepest Sympathy", or "Our Loving Thoughts" are both suitable and soothing in a condolence message.

Condolence Messages - Samples of What to Say and What Not to Say in Condolence Messages
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Melanie Walters recommends ObituariesHelp.org for Condolence Messages, sample letters of sympathy and condolence, written examples of eulogies as well as help with all aspects of funeral planning. Also download free genealogy resources and read about building a family tree.

Melanie Walters created http://www.obituarieshelp.org/ to be the complete online resource for sympathy, condolence messages, obituaries, funeral help and genealogy. Free Sample Condolence Messages are available online to help you write your own. Also find family tree templates, newspaper obituaries listings; plan funerals and write sympathy and condolence messages using free samples and guides.

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Monday, November 19, 2012

The Loss of a Friend - How to Cope With Your Emotional Pain

What is life without friendships or companionship? Unfortunately, there are people in our world who know this feeling all to well... there are people who have lost some great friends.

A friend is not just an acquaintance from work, Friendship is much more than an acquaintance. We all have different levels of friendships. Trust is the core of a relationship; love is a huge part of a friendship on many different levels. You can love and still not trust, which usually makes for a very limited friendship.

What about friends you love whole-heartedly and trust with your life. This could be a pet, a best friend, a spouse/special companion, or someone you know through work. Think about the level of trust and the level of love we have in each situation... Like is a level of love.

The Loss of a Friend - How to Cope With Your Emotional Pain

Here is a poem by Kay Andrews, which is worth mentioning:

"The True Meaning of Friendship."

There is no greater blessing than an understanding friend, who's there in times of trouble and on whom we can depend. A friend who knows our every mood And brightens cloudy days, One who's slow to criticize But quick to offer praise. There is no greater blessing Than a friend who always cares, One who will remember us In daily thoughts and prayers.

Thank you for your friendship! Love from - Kay Andrews

As an adult, when a friend dies you lose not just the gift of a friendship. You also lose security, love, and a sense of peace and safety. Your world is suddenly lonely, a feeling of loss, some may fall into a long-term depressive state of mind.

Others around you may not understand the degree of loss you are suffering. We are all human therefore we are imperfect beings, who are not always in tune with others feelings. We are not intentionally ignorant of others feelings, our environments can often cause distractions. It is important for the person suffering the loss of a friend to let others know how they are feeling.

One thing, which works for me and is a huge benefit...is taking sometime to myself and writing a letter to the person whom has passed on. Write the letter as if you intend for them to receive it. Once you are done saying everything you want to say to your friend, fold it and keep it in a safe place for some time or if you prefer throw it out. Most times this one simple exercise helps so many people deal with the death of a friend. This is definitely a worthwhile exercise and it is highly recommended.

As a youth, when a friend dies this is very devastating and quite often not fully acknowledged. There are times when children are expected to die which is devastating enough, however it is in those moments when a child dies suddenly and unexpectedly that friends are left shocked and in disbelief. The death of a child/youth would be acknowledged in the community and in the school but only briefly. People may wonder why a child/youth is not recovering quickly.

We need to identify with the child/youth, and since most of their day is spent at school the best strategy would be to contact their teacher, in an effort to put a plan into place to help the mourning child/youth.

In summary, having friendships is a true gift, which we should never take for granted. We need to appreciate each other everyday, as we never know when a sudden change of events will take our friend(s) away from us.

By the same token, we can't worry everyday either; I want to leave you with this:

The song sung by Country Superstar Garth Brooks - "The Dance" - says it all...Here is the chorus- "And Now I'm Glad I didn't Know; The Way It All Would End; The Way It All Would Go; Our Lives Are Better Left To Chance; I Could Have Missed The Pain; But I'd Have Had To Miss The Dance."

The Loss of a Friend - How to Cope With Your Emotional Pain
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Wednesday, November 14, 2012

How to Minimize Self-Imposed Isolation in Grief and Loss

You can reduce unnecessary suffering when grieving by limiting the time you either knowingly or unknowingly isolate yourself. Self-imposed isolation is a common response to the death of a loved one. Although some alone time is necessary during all grief work, the bereaved all too often withdraw and cause added pain and suffering.

To begin with, grief itself is an isolating emotion because depression, guilt, and anger-common reactions to the loss of a loved one-tend to reduce interaction with others, and many would-be supporters are at a loss as to how to respond. Isolation complicates and lengthens the healing process.

If you are mourning the death of a loved one, or providing support for a bereaved person, here are eight ways to make inroads on the devastating toll that isolation takes on emotional disposition and energy levels.

How to Minimize Self-Imposed Isolation in Grief and Loss

1. Find a grief companion. Look for someone who has suffered a similar loss. It could be another widow or widower. Perhaps another mother who has lost a child or a person who has suffered the death of a sibling. It can be especially helpful if the person is a few months ahead of you in the grief process. Share your feelings. Having someone around with similar feelings is reassuring that you are better understood. Make a pact to telephone each other at specific times, day or night.

2. Make the expression of emotion a priority. Bottling up emotions is a surefire way to increase the intensity of pain and bring on depression. Suppressed anger is especially damaging to your health and can be managed. The first step is to own it and tell a confidant about it. We are built to allow emotions to go through us and be expressed to relieve the anxiety and physical tension they cause. If you have any negative feelings, get them out and into the light of day with your friend.

3. Use daily meditation for twenty minutes. There are numerous forms of meditation. Choose one that you are comfortable with. It will increase awareness of your environment, help you transcend your pain, and strengthen your inner life. A common meditation is to simply choose a pleasing word (peace, love, tranquility, etc.) and slowly repeat it each time you exhale a breath.

4. Start your own altruistic program. A universal way to cope with major loss and change is to become a wounded healer and help others as you are still mourning. There are people everywhere who can use the assistance of another. Look around in your community or for organizations needing volunteers. Your involvement will compel you to communicate. It will lift your spirits and enhance self-esteem, and you will make the world a better place.

5. Join a grief support group. This is an ideal way to reduce isolation by being with others who are dealing with loss. In all of my experience with support groups for the bereaved, as the meetings progress, strong friendships are formed, and much insight is gained from others.

6. Use massage. Often major loss brings with it a sense of being alone. I have heard many bereaved people tell me how comforting it was to have a professional give them a massage. The relaxation that is induced and the awareness of feeling comfort was a welcome break from the pain of loss.

7. Strengthen your ties to your Higher Power. There is a growing amount of research pointing to the health benefits of spiritual/religious involvement. Believe that you are never alone and your Higher Power knows what you are going through and is there for you to talk to. Say what is happening to you inside. This connectedness is a powerful force to get you through the most trying times.

8. Grow in your ability to love. The eternal connection of love to your Higher Power and the deceased is part of the way through isolation and loneliness. You can still show love to the deceased by learning how to love in separation and by living the values you acquired through your association with him/her.

All solid connections are based on the power of love. Your mission in life, something we all need, will be enhanced by your ability to grow in love. As you grow, your grief and isolation will fade, and you will see life and death through a lens you never thought could be so beautiful.

Reducing isolation as we are hurting and full of pain is not an easy thing to do. However, doing what we dislike doing at the time it ought to be done, is an absolute, indispensable life skill. It will be useful for the rest of your life, not just as you grieve. Start with one of the above today with the firm intention that you will reduce isolation and reinvest in life.

How to Minimize Self-Imposed Isolation in Grief and Loss
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Dr. LaGrand is a grief counselor and the author of eight books, the most recent, the popular Love Lives On: Learning from the Extraordinary Encounters of the Bereaved. He is known world-wide for his research on the Extraordinary Experiences of the bereaved (after-death communication phenomena) and is one of the founders of Hospice of the St. Lawrence Valley, Inc. His free monthly ezine website is http://www.extraordinarygriefexperiences.com.

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Sunday, November 11, 2012

Funeral and Memorial Poems For Mom

Losing a mother can be a painful experience in someone's life. It can drive a son or daughter into deep sorrow and heartache. A beloved mother can never be replaced and her memories can have a lasting part in our minds.

The beauty about poems is that they can touch and tap into our deepest emotions through any type of event we may walk through in life. Most people are able to relate to poems because they contain words that we may be feeling expressed in an eloquent and beautiful fashion.

There are appropriate memorial poems for a mother or any loved one you may have lost. These poems speak of her love, care, and provision through life. In the book of Proverbs 31:28 in the Bible, it reads "Her children rise up and call her blessed." Indeed, a mother's role is unmeasurable and has lasting impact on her children.

Funeral and Memorial Poems For Mom

Because she has provided such memories for you, its important to find a memorial poem that best fits who your mother was and what her character was like. Some poems will speak and recall times about mom that were more vivid in our memory.

Poems about a mother often note the special little things she did, the advice she would provide, or the sacrifices she made for you and her children. Because mothers play such a vital role in a child's life, we commemorate her on Mother's Day.

A memorial poem for mom may include anything that pays honor and tribute to her.  You may even consider writing your own poem for your mother and personalize it so that it includes many of the things she did as she was raising you or while she was with you.

If you were not particularly close to your mother, perhaps a poem that notes the things she loved to do, her hobbies, and what made her happy would be an appropriate selection.

A memorial poem for mother can be placed within the funeral or memorial program. It can also be used and incorporated within a short reading or eulogy at her memorial service. Poems are a popular way to express feelings and words that we may be short on during a period of mourning.

Poems have a beauty and grace about them in the way the words are formulated together. Memorial poems for mother can extend past the funeral or memorial service. When you are thinking of your mother, you may find poems that express missing her. Losing a mother will stir on many emotions and for every emotion, you will be able to find a poem that will relate to those feelings.

Funeral and Memorial Poems For Mom
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For more memorial and funeral poems for mother and resources, visit The Funeral Program Site where you will find a wealth of information that can assist you in the details of the funeral or memorial service. This website offers beautiful funeral programs that highlight your loved one's life, obituary help, poems, readings, and scripture verses.

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Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Grief and Loss - Surviving The First Christmas On Your Own

If you are counting down the days to Christmas and New Year festivities with dread this is perfectly understandable. Your life has been turned upside down by the loss of your loved one, be it husband, wife, partner or close family member or friend.

At times the loss appears to be insurmountable. But as with everything we do, while it doesn't heal, time puts a distance between the grief and hurt and loss.

We know that Christmas is supposed to be a joyful time with family and friends. But that special person will be missing over the holidays. How are you going to cope?

Grief and Loss - Surviving The First Christmas On Your Own

My initial reaction to the first Christmas alone was to hide away. I wanted to close the door and wake after the whole holiday period was over. I felt that I couldn't face friends and family enjoying themselves and could not participate in the celebrations in any way. However, and fortunately for me, friends and family had other ideas. They too were grieving and suffering loss. The special person was missing from their lives too and would be missed during the holiday season. But they were adamant that I would be included in any celebration they had, even if I did not feel like celebrating.

In the lead up to Christmas we have much to think about and for a time this can take away our constant thoughts of being alone. We still have to organize present buying for others even if we don't really want to get into the swing of Christmas. Remember to be aware of the expectations you set yourself. First and foremost, acknowledge that you are grieving for the loved one. Then look at the expectations you have of your friends and family. They are also grieving for your loved one. Don't expect too much of any of them either. But remember it's OK to laugh and remember your loved one with joy. Share the happy memories with your friends and family and let them share theirs with you. Try to look back with joy and gratitude at the life you have shared. There will be many things to remember and to share and laugh about.

I recently discovered that lovely poem by Henry Scott Holland (1847-1918) Canon of St Paul's Cathedral entitled 'Death is Nothing At All'. This poem sets out how I know my loved one would want me to feel about his death. Some of the words that are particularly meaningful at this time of year (or actually at any time) are 'Call me by my old familiar name Speak to me in the easy way which you always used put no difference in your tone wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow laugh as we always laughed'

We can learn lessons from everything in life. I learned a lot from my late husband's death. But I also learned a lot from his life. I know he wouldn't want me to wear a solemn expression all the time. He would rejoice that on occasions I forget and smile and laugh. The most valuable thing I have learned after losing my soul mate is to value the people around me more and not to take them for granted. Who knows how long we will have them?

Grief and Loss - Surviving The First Christmas On Your Own
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When I was first alone I was fortunate in having close friends and supportive family to help me acknowledge and cope with my devastating loss. Since that time I have discovered an amazing program called Move from Grief to Joy [http://www.griefandlosssupport.com] The program is full of ways to help you move through the stages of grief and live a normal, interactive life again. With this program [http://www.griefandlosssupport.com] grief becomes manageable and you can survive.

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